Dear Dr. Sadaqat Ali,
I am a female, i need your expert opinion for my extreme emotional compassionate behavior which is affecting my practice and day to day ,relationships ,i get too sincerely ,concern with people without ulterior motives who later on look at it from different aspect , and this feeling of been taken for granted affects me so much so that it led to depression and i was on VENLAFAXINE for few months , i want to get rid of this whole emotional feelings and its expression and I feel it is increasing day by day ,i m equally short tempered but I read your posts about it so i would not discuss that but just to mention, I seek your help because my profession and my life is getting affected which i cannot afford at this point. Thank you.
Dear Emotionally Disturb and Depressed,
I can understand the amount of emotional pain you are undergoing in your day to day life. Generally my clients struggle with a common emotional theme that has been ‘the setting of healthy boundaries at workplace and with family’.
Common symptoms include; reacting in a particular manner due to guilt and attempting to please others on the cost of sacrificing your own desires. Resultantly, these responses may bring anger, depression or resentment that may turn into complaining about your own attitudes, feeling of being taken for granted or feeling of being victim of your own circumstances.
Setting the boundaries is essential to be healthy both physically and emotionally. Emotional boundaries can emancipate you from how others act towards or feel about you. The following crucial steps would be instrumental in changing the patterns that affects you on emotional level.
1. Recognize your fears: Self-awareness is the key to change. Common fears that show up in the context of boundaries include fear of not being good enough, fear of rejection, or fear of being alone or abandoned. Recognizing your fears as irrational or disproportionate is the first step towards overcoming them. After recognizing our fears and understanding the false perceptions about fear that it isn’t “real” — you may not innate but something you have to learn through social conditioning.